A world of my own

I love writing. But I humbly admit that my writing skills, or lack thereof, is mediocre, nothing too exceptional or extraordinary.

However, I feel more comfortable when I write (or in this case, type) as compared to talking. Words just seem to flow better and smoothly as I write. I get nervous when I have to speak, and my mind tend to get cluttered right when I'm in the midst of a conversation, thus, disabling me to find the right words to speak.

I was worse when I was younger though (psh I meant when I was still a child. I'm not old yet!!). It was almost too impossible to hear a single word coming out my mouth, let alone forming a cohesive sentence. The words just miraculously got stuck in my throat, as if something was holding it back from making a long-awaited appearance.

I was that bad. And for that, I felt small in a world where extroverts are highly favoured and socially acceptable. It wasn't a competition between the loud and the quiet anymore. The world felt parallel to me, a ruthless division between extroverts and introverts. But even in a world of introversion, I felt cast away, isolated in an island of my own, with not a single indispensable thing paramount for my very survival.

It was brutal indeed.

But I had friends who were very understanding of me, who found me to be a good listener (but eh I'm not too sure of this myself kekadang I just pretend I listen attentively because it'd be rude to show my focus has shifted elsewhere #whoops hehe) and who stuck by me till this very day. They've never left me lonely. Alhamdulillah.

As I grow older though, I get better and better at conversations. I can make small talks without feeling awkward. I am less nervous now when there's a presentation. Words just seem to flow slightly smoothly from my thoughts and out my mouth. I'm definitely seeing a fruitful result from years of being a Communications student. Though the result is only the size of a bread crumb, but it's definitely paying off now. Slowly but surely.

This post is a little too personal but I felt the need to pen it down here, in case I need to look back at how far I've come to be who I am today.

Proof that I love writing (OK fine I wasn't writing in this photo, I was doodling something for the class because I was a part of the Keceriaan team hahaha #teamnerd #dedication). And that's my best friend, Sabrina, and this is how she contributes her support to me - by flashing Peace signs behind my head, an offering to the camera as a form of worship (read: Facebook worthy photo). Through tebal dan nipis, eh? :)